Run, Forrest, run!

Welcome to this week’s episode of “Things I’ve learned so far: The U.S. edition”!

• Apparently, the whole world thinks I’m up to no good. Including the U.S. Which, you know, offended. I’d still like to find out one day why that even is, though. And do they talk to each other about that or do I just look incredibly suspicious wherever I go?
  
• Salt Lake City is a huge-ass town. My mantra yesterday morning was basically “Scotty and I just have to make it out of the city, then everything will be alright”. Yeah. It took me 75 minutes to get out of the city - going 120 on the Interstate.
  
• I really, really hate Interstates. After suffering through the I95 for a year right after getting my license in times when Google Maps wasn’t a thing yet and you printed out directions from Mapquest and taped them to your steering wheel, I thought I’d kinda gotten cool with Interstates. Well, that was almost 20 years ago and that cool has evaporated. Whoever designs these things deserves punishment.
  
• The bigger your car, the smaller the lanes on those Interstates seem. And when you have a car that is even more of an alarmist than my Canadian ride, that means you get regaled with alarms every 20 seconds. “OMG, there’s a car next to you! ALARM!” “OMG, there’s a car close behind you! ALARM!” “OMG, did you really just try to change lanes while there was a car in the vicinity? ALARM!!!!” I mean, my rearview mirrors are giving me proximity warnings for fuck’s sake. What are drivers even for, nowadays? (I really HAVE missed Cruise Control, though.)
  
• Scotty, by the way, is the name of my car now, because I still kinda feel like I’m on the Enterprise (or maybe I should have called him Jamie seeing as he’s an Outlander...heh….never mind). YouTube showed me the way of the Outlander, though, so I wouldn’t say we’re best friends now, but we’re definitely getting along a lot better.
  
• If I really want to, I can. I was really hesitant to do the Delicate Arch hike at Arches NP yesterday, because urgh, all uphill and we all know I don’t do well with uphill, but after sitting in the parking lot for 15 minutes debating on whether I was gonna survive, I thought screw it and just did it. (And to most of you that hike is probably not even considered a hike it’s that short, but I think we’ve established that my fitness level is about zero, right?) And I’m proud to say: others were sweatier than I was when I arrived.
  
• Apparently, cows have toxic breath that can kill rattlesnakes. At least that’s what my Navajo guide told me today. If that’s true, then that is some breath. He also told me, though, that when you get bitten by a rattlesnake you have to let a stinkbug pee into your mouth and swallow it, so maybe he was just taking the piss (no pun intended). 

Anyway. Off to Page, Arizona tomorrow. Which I believe is in another time zone. Even though I already AM in Arizona right now, but am still on Utah time. Which I should probably figure out before I set my alarm for tomorrow. So, now basically. I'll leave you with the view from my hotel room today: 

Bonus points for whoever finds the connection between the picture and the post title. ;)