Oh, Canada

Hello everybody! I'm alive. I made it to Canada after 23 hours on the road. My luggage did as well, which is always a plus. And I've already been zooming through the Rockies for three days straight, trying to outrun the weather. Time really flies. Which is weird considering it also seems to be crawling at a snail's pace. Which would explain why this feels like day 87 and not day 4. Anyway.

Things I've learned so far:

• I'm not "bear aware", I'm bear paranoid. I do blame the receptionist at my hotel for this, though, who, upon check-in, not only gave me my room keys, but also a can of bear spray and a wildlife fog horn to always carry with me, because "they're EVERYWHERE".
• So are the Mormons apparently. I assumed I'd have to deal with them eventually, seeing as I'll be flying into Salt Lake City in a week, but nope, they're roaming Canada as well. Word to the wise (or you know, the Mormons): not interested in a new religion. Or any religion at all really. Especially not standing on a bridge in the middle of nowhere trying to take pictures. And for future reference: unless you greet me with the Opening Number of Book of Mormon, I'm not gonna listen to you.
• Apparently a Ford Fiesta is considered a really, really tiny car here. Or so everyone keeps telling me with raised eyebrows and concern in their voices. So to all the concerned Canadians out there: I'm doing fine, thanks. I really enjoy the overly large parking spaces in relation to my teeny-tiny toy car.
• Said car is also an alarmist. As is, alarms go off in that car because of EVERYTHING. Someone in the back hasn’t closed their seatbelt - alarm. Which, you know, considering I’m the only one IN that car - seems a bit weird. I dared put the key in the ignition before I closed the door: alarm. Pretty sure I woke up half the Rockies yesterday morning because my car was unhappy about SOMETHING and decided to blast the actual car alarm instead of the usual internal alarms that only annoy me. Let me tell you, Two Jack Lake has an awesome echo. But hey, at least all the bears knew where I was. Way more effective than that bear bell.
• Speaking of that, have you ever realized how long the sun takes to rise? FOREVER. I’m really not photographer material it seems, because while everyone else seemed more than happy to stand in the same spot for like, an hour and a half in freezing conditions to take some sunrise pictures, all I could think was “Honestly, none of us have moved in like, an hour - are we all seriously taking the same picture over and over again every five minutes until the sun's come up?” (The answer is yes, by the way.)
• The weather here is a fickle bitch and forecasts are not to be trusted in any capacity. I got a little concerned when the car rental guy made sure that I had a snow brush in the car, but it looks like he was onto something. Sun, rain, hail, snow in one day? Try one hour. It’s like the weather's schizophrenic. I’m getting some serious Iceland vibes here.
• I need to learn that when hiking guides describe the level of difficulty of a hike as “Any person with a reasonable amount of fitness can do this trail”, that group does NOT include me. It might include Asian grandmothers, toddlers and mothers with a child strapped to each arm, but most definitely not me.
• Poutine is still the weirdest and at the same time most delicious food ever. It shouldn't work. But it totally does. And I've really, really missed it.
• Justin Trudeau apparently is "not as advertised". At least that's what that woman on the television wants me to believe. (I'm assuming they have an election coming up? Cause wow, he seems to be doing EVERYTHING wrong if you believe those election ads...)

Anyway. No pictures yet, because I barely find the time to back them up, much less to work on them between getting up at the a**crack of dawn, driving around until sunset and then falling asleep inconveniently early. But hey, Thursday’s supposed to be shittiest weather day of all, so maybe there’s my chance. But then again, we just established that the weather forecast is not to be trusted, so who knows?